I win. Linda Blair loses.

You know that list that I have that I’ve been meaning to cross some things off of?

Well now I can. I am soooooo productive.

Motivated by having another one of our fantastic dinner parties, I went back to that cupcake recipe that seemed like way too much work. I got it off of this girl\’s blog. On the same page you can learn how to make an easy chicken costume. She has lots of other cupcake recipes up but most of them are vegan and being the total asshole that I am, I automatically think all things vegan taste like piss and feet.

These cupcakes, however, tasted like magic. Pure magic.

So I get to cross baking something off the list. Though in order to really cross it off, I need to be baking more. I had so much fun that I most likely will.

Champion that I am, I also made an appetizer that I had never made before. Mushrooms stuffed with cream cheese, artichokes, jalapeno, and cheese and then wrapped with bacon. So. Fucking. Good.

Lucy beamed at me that all I needed to do was floss that night and I’d be a total winner.

But of course I drank so much wine and smoked weed to the point where I totally forgot to floss.

Side note:

I had never seen The Exorcist before. I was always too terrified that my overactive imagination would never let me sleep again if I watched what was considered to be the most horrifying film ever made. I’ve avoided seeing it for years. Perhaps it’s the fact that I spent all day shopping for Halloween supplies with Lucy and Ryan or perhaps because after three hits of weed anything seems like a good idea but last night I finally watched it.

Uhhhhhhhh…..where were the scary parts?

I think that perhaps it was not the best movie to watch after smoking. I was alternately bored to tears and laughing my ass off. Lucy kept warning me that I would have nightmares, to just wait for the good parts. But the good parts never came. Though I was pleasantly surprised by the vulgar shit that came out of Linda Blair’s demon mouth. Telling your mom to “Lick me! Lick me, bitch!” and screaming to a priest “Your mother sucks cocks in hell!” is damn fine entertainment in my book.

But scary? No.

I’ll have to try again someday.

In the meantime, can someone please tell me a good scary movie to watch this month? Please no serial killer movies. I’m not into humans torturing other humans so much. I prefer supernatural shit torturing humans. God bless The Shining. They don’t make them like that anymore.

P.S.

For the record, Lucy, I did have Linda Blair nightmares. She was propped up next to me in bed, leaning over me on one elbow with her little face all shredded and bloody, screaming:

“CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ROOM, WHY DON’T YOU!?!”

And wagging her finger at me.

No joke.